Do you remember your first love? How did it feel like to fall in love for the first time? Did you experience butterflies and creepy, crawly things in your tummy? There is always something about it. We just never forget our first loves. They somehow impacted our lives.
Mine? I was in high school. He was so dreamy. I always saw stars in his eyes. He had this way of making an approach which made him so hard to resist. He was macho, had this bad boy image on. him. Let’s put it this way. He was yummy.
Well, we met while dancing back when that was my hobby, when I was not so restricted with age and difficult dance moves. After practise, he would come home and vice versa. So it was a balanced, healthy friendship. Yes. Friendship is important. So don’t skip that part.☺
We continued going out(as friends) and having fun dancing, just doing what teens do best.
So the day came when he opened up, and I was in the process of preparing to go back to school. As I am writing this I can’t help but laugh because it seems as though it was just yesterday when he asked me to be his girlfriend. Heh!!!
Before we get to the juicy part, we were taking a walk as I can recall and we did two laps, to and fro, until when he took he home and he broke into a sweat as he revealed these feelings. I simply could not move. I was powerless. Describing those feelings is just overwhelming.
As he told me how he felt, I could not help but stare at him because I did not know what to say. My butterflies and I cringed. Did we like him? Did we (me,myself and I) want the ground to open up swallow and us?
Well… I told him I’d think about it, and he seemed disappointed. Isn’t a girl supposed to be given time to think about things? I got so scared, like after this, I wouldn’t be thinking of just one person- me, but I would have to think about someone else too. That was like privacy gone down the drain.
My legs could not permit me to walk either. They felt as heavy as steel when I had to walk back to the house. I almost fell down the stairs just thinking about it. Mind you I was going back to school the following day. Boarding school that is, and I would have thoughts of all this running through my mind. All. This!!!
Why put me and my mind through such thoughts? Being told such a thing is like going into the exam room and not knowing what to write on the paper. The feelings were mutual but wasn’t I too young? Or maybe I just wasn’t thinking straight.
Damn girl. What if you said yes at that moment, maybe, just maybe you’d be swept off your feet with romantic sweet nothings. Saying no or “let’s wait and see” is the same thing. The disappointment was visible. I can still feel it.
Funny thing all through school, he gave me the most gorgeous letters. Girls, remember how calligraphy was important on the envelopes? I still have a few of mine. I loved how the letters (and sometimes cards) would come. I mean creativity was key. Or should we say “mwanaume ni effort?” In the end it worked and we became a couple. How precious…
First loves are just mysterious. Did I get over it? I did. Would it have been different now? I wouldn’t bet on that. Life has changed for both of us. We are both on different levels, so our thought processes would definitely be different. Not so sure if it is for the good or the bad.
What was your experience with your first love? Are you still together? Would you kill to have them back?