This is such a huge thing when it comes to relationships. And one thing that I have to come learn about it is that it can make or break couples. Money is such a big thing that if we are not careful it creates distance.
How do you handle your finances? Are you comfortable enough to lend money to your significant other? What would you do if he or she asked you for cash?
As for me, I learnt my lesson. NEVER EVER give money to a man. No offence fellas but I learnt the hard way. Here is the thing. So my money is supposed to be mine, and yours becomes ours. Right? Besides you know how to hustle and know where and how to get money. Right?
Anyway, I once lent money to a guy I was dating. Lending means you are paying it back. It’ s like how a friend lends you a dress or shoes, you are supposed to return them. Why? They are not yours. Same case to cash. When you borrow you return. So there was a timeline given, but it was broken or somewhat forgotten. If you were me, what would you do? I asked on several occasions but there was no response. Yes. I continued to be in the relationship with him, but once I got bored I opted out.
Well, he didn’t understand why. I mean he didn’t borrow once or twice. It got to a point I just thought I was there as a bank. I was the “financial security” for us. I explained to a friend and this is what she said. “If a man is not your husband you are not supposed to give him anything. When you get married you become one, so your finances are one. So you are bound to help where necessary. As for now just pack and leave. Run away!”
It made sense because let’s just say he is just another huy. We are not betrothed, and now that I am seeing signs, maybe he would never provide for the family. I wouldn’t want to have that. Ladies need security. Part of that security is seeing her man being able to provide. Provision means food, shelter, clothing. That’s if you are married. If not, the other way would be like paying for dates, or getting a little pocket money for upkeep.
Disclaimer: This is not for the slay queens.
I know as women we want to be strong and independent and all that. But if a guy can’t provide for you then that is big. My take i that also in marriage he might carry that behaviour on. And since you are bound, you can’t really take off. Guess why? You made an oath.
Would you lend or just give money out to the man you are seeing? Do you trust him? Since money can make or break a relationship then why put yourself in such a situation?
I usually hear that if a man asks for money from a woman it shows his weakness. Is that true? Well, it could be because money defines a man since he is the one to provide for the family.
In short I learnt my lesson. Never ever will I ever lend cash, whether as a loan or in kind.
If you have a different story or saying, please share with me. Perhaps I could have a change of heart.